I met with my Dr. right before I went into the hospital for my chemo treatment in September and he informed me that he would like me to meet with a bone marrow transplant specialist "for just incase purposes" He was concerned that if I needed a transplant that he didn't want me to complete all 8 months of treatments and then end up having to have a transplant at the end of this ordeal. If I couldn't find a match within my family it could take 3 months to find a match in the donor pool and he didn't want me to wait that long if this was something that I needed to happen. I was incredibly confused by this news because I was informed that I was responding really well to the chemo so I had an incredibly hard time with this news.
So once I completed my September treatment Josh, mom and I went to Omaha and met with the specialist at UNMC. She informed that I would need to undergo a transplant. I cried. I had a hard time concentrating on what all was said that day because it was a lot to take in. I'm apparently missing some chromosomes that make me more likely to have 2 types of cancer but I do only have ALL. So that's a bonus that I do only have one type of cancer. The Dr. said that because of my age I would be a great candidate for a transplant because this is only to make it more likely that I will not get cancer again but if it does come back then I am pretty much screwed (my words not hers). If the cancer does come back after trasnplant I will not be able to have another transplant done because it wouldn't work and we would have to attack it more aggresively than we have already with even higher doses than I have had already and it's still not a guarantee that I would make it through it a second time. So now I'm even more worried and for a long time I didn't want to go through with the transplant because of that reason. I have now decided that it is the best option for me and my family.
My brothers were both tested to see if I had a match. Nic did not match at all but Cody was a perfect 10 for 10 match. Before we even found out that Cody was a match my mother told me that she now knew why God blessed them with Cody and it was to help save my life. This broke my heart. The kid is 14 years old and it is so overwhelming for him. He is completely freaking out about the whole thing and sometimes I wonder if he can go through with this. Tonight he was having an anxiety attack because we officially found out that this is a go and it is going to happen within the next few weeks. He was very stressed out but I don't think he fully understood what this meant. I told him tonight (for the second time) that if he can't do this then I don't want to force him to go through with this but I wanted him to think about the fact that if he can go through with this then he would be saving my life. No one had told him that until tonight. I think he finally got it and realizes the severity of what this means. He is still scared to death about the process but for him it is really simple compared to what it used to be. In the olden days the donor would be put to sleep and then have bone marrow extracted with the giant ice pick up to 70 times in order to get enough bone marrow to donate. The process is easier now. Cody would have one IV placed in one arm where blood would be withdrawn from his body. The blood would go through a machine and this machine would separate the stem cells for me and then return his blood to him in his other arm. He would have less blood out his body at one time then he would have if he were to give blood.
I would be placed in the hospital for 5 days before the actual transplant would take place. The first two days that I would be in the hospital I would be receiving even higher doses of chemo than I have had to date. The next three days would be to receive full body radiation that is meant to kill everything in my body and then on day 0 the transplant would take place. I would have to stay in the hospital for 2-3 weeks after the transplant. Once I am released from the hospital I have to live in Omaha for 100 days. I have to be within 30 minutes of the hospital incase I needed to be admitted for any reason. I also have to have a 24/7 caregiver. Someone who is to never leave me unattended and who can get me to and from the Dr. office twice a week for appointments. After many thoughts and discussions we have decided to rent a hotel suite after my release from the hospital. It would be easier for everyone since I will not have an immue system after transplant. My mom has been gracious enough to take her family medical leave act and move to Omaha with me to help take care of me.
I am still not sure if I will have to have another round of chemo in November or not. They would like to have the transplant done before that option comes up. I told them that I would like to have the transplant done as soon as possible so I will not have to be in the hospital over Christmas and it didn't sound like that would be an issue. So now I need to get busy. I have to get my Christmas shopping done and presents wrapped. I need to make sure that I have everything that I need for an extended time away from home. I have to figure out how my bills will get paid.I have been the one to take care of this family so it's really difficult to have to be away so for so long.
I'm not going to lie the idea of a transplant scares the shit out of me but I'm still trying to convince myself that this is going to be the best thing for everyone and that is incredibly hard to do. I know I have an incredibly amazing support system behind me. Not only do I have an an amazing family that will be there for me I also have a new family that I know will be there for me too. The nursing staff at Bryan West has been amazing throughout this whole process already and they have been there to answer my questions and to give me a shoulder to cry on and I couldn't ask for better people in my life. I'm sad that once the transplant happens I will not have the girls for my nurses any longer but I know if I called anyone of those girls to talk they would be there for me. Although it's against the rules to become emotionally attached to your patients I am so damn irrestible that it would be hard not to become emotionally attached to me.
So am I ready for this? Hell no! I need to get ready emotionally, physically and spirtually and I am running out of time to do so. I got to put my shit in order and suck it up and get it done. I know I will but it still feels like a ton of stuff has to be completed beforehand and it's always scary to wonder if I can get all my ducks in a row before this goes down.
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